Christmas Jazz and Anime

If you are growing tired of the same Christmas jazz selections on repeat, do yourself a favor and check out Christmas with The Believers (1986). Chris O'Donnell (not the actor) called it " 31 minutes of Christmas jazz perfection." and I couldn't agree more. And it's free.

The trio is composed of Donny Schwekendiek on piano, Neal Heidler on bass and Barry Puhlovski on drums. The jazz pianist's style is reminiscent of Vince Guaraldi's A Charlie Brown Christmas, but with less angst. So uplifting and smooooth. It truly is "the best Christmas jazz record you've never heard of."

In fact, I wondered why I hadn't heard more of Schwekendiek's work, so I went down the rabbit hole. First, I found his official website, which google translated from Japanese. Then, I found an anime theme song attributed to him. Intriguing.

Turns out, Schwekendiek is from Atlanta. Two years after The Believers' Christmas album was released, he moved to Japan and now lives in Nagakute, Aichi. He keeps a full calendar of performances and has worked with Keiko Lee, a Japanese jazz singer.

One of those collaborations is the opening theme for the horror/crime/mystery anime series Requiem From The Darkness (2007), composed and performed by Keiko Lee. Donny Schwekendiek wrote the lyrics:



HT: COD (NTA)

My wedding shoes

At the beginning of this year, I was on staff at Premier Wedding Magazine where I wrote for I Do Y'all, a southern wedding blog based in Ridgeland, MS. My job was interpreting modern wedding trends, from venues to shoes, as inspiration for southern brides for the blog and planning guide.

Which means, SOMEONE FINALLY PAID ME TO BLOG ABOUT SHOES.

Then, I got married in September, which means, I GET TO BLOG ABOUT MY WEDDING SHOES ON MY BLOG.

I started RRnR in 2005, during the height of Sex & the City-induced shoe mania. It was as if fans of the show looked down one day and suddenly realized they have feet. That need shoes. That cost more than rent for a one-bedroom apartment in Atlanta.

SHOES! Because shelter is overrated. 

I like shoes almost as much as I like not being homeless, so I occasionally blogged about shoes instead of buying them. Sometimes, I'd choose a special pair to celebrate a milestone or honor a friend. It was fun and cheeky.

Almost exactly 13 years after my first shoe post, I got the job at Premier Wedding writing for IDY. It was like Devil Wears Prada meets Steel Magnolias. God, I loved it.

Oh, honey. We would never...

Weddings in the South are unlike weddings in the rest of the country. If you are unfamiliar, they're over-the-top events with a dozen or so attendants, explosions of flowers, towering cakes, designer trends, faith, family and heaps of tradition. In other words, we put on the dog.

I saw "we" because I was recently a southern bride (for the third and final time. Don't be petty.). On September 29, Mike and I got married in the garden behind Jackson City Hall, and it was beautiful. The weather was perfect. My dress was amazing. My husband was incredibly handsome. I'll blog about the details another time. But let me tell you about my shoes.

Everyone close to me knows how important shoes are to me. A friend even messaged me to say, "I can't wait to see your shoes!" No pressure.

The silhouette of my dress was 1950s vintage, tea-length A-line with a plunging V-neck. The shoes had to match the classic style without fading into the overall look. They also had to be comfortable without looking matronly. I wanted people to notice the dress first, then look down and say, "Oh my gosh, your shoes!!"

Mission accomplished.

Me and my sole mate, right after we met

These blue cuties are Nick of Time by Irregular Choice. After searching online and visiting five local stores, I found them at Vintage Rec, a locally-owned boutique in Flowood. Just a mile from our apartment. Last pair, and they were my size.

I didn't even know what I was looking for. I just walked in...and there they were.

Just look at them...💓

If you love them as much as I do - as if that's even possible - you can find them online. Too bad the blue is out of stock. So sad for you.

If you're local, Vintage Rec also had this shoe in pink and red. Their clothes and accessories are equally fantastic. They have new fall/winter stock and are located in Dogwood next to GameStop. Go see them. And follow them on Instagram.
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Hello. I'm a white woman, and I'm here to help.

About six years ago, I became aware that I'm racist. It's a long story. The details aren't as important as the milestones, though. Here's a shorter version.

One of the many powerful things about therapy is that it gives a cynical, emotionally stabby person the safety and space to discover how they perpetuate a pattern of learned behavior. Once I got into the practice of examining my motives, I started to notice several troubling things:

Sometimes, I think I'm being helpful but I'm not.
Sometimes, I actually make things harder for the person I think I'm helping.
Sometimes, the person I've decided to rescue doesn't need or want my help.
Sometimes, helping is really about me and I'm being selfish, controlling, arrogant, presumptuous and racist.

A year later, a coworker called me out. We often had discussions about racial dynamics and social constructs. In response to something I said, he pointed out how white women love to fix things because we think we have all the answers. "Everything is going to be okay, everyone!" he announced to an otherwise empty radio room, "The white lady is here!"

We laughed. But I also thought: Oh, damn. Message received.

When Michael Brown was murdered by a white police officer on August 9, 2014, I caught a glimpse of just how pervasive racism is and how it profoundly affects the daily lives of people close to me. I thought I knew, but I had no idea. When I shared this revelation with a friend who regularly covered social justice issues, including the protests in Ferguson, he characteristically deadpanned, "Welcome to the party."

In other words, this is just another day in a black man's world, but thanks for noticing. That was a tough pill to swallow.

I wasn't a very good ally. Hell, I didn't even know how to be a good ally. As I became more familiar with terms like "complicity" and "microaggression," I recognized I was guilty of those things. But I certainly didn't think it made me racist.

Fun fact: subtle, unintentional acts of racism are still racist. Just because I don't fit the stereotypical definition of racist doesn't mean I'm in the clear. Implicit racial bias is complex and it sneaks into every aspect of our lives, including mine. But does that mean I'm a bad person?

Robin DiAngelo explains how that either-or, good-bad binary shuts white people down in conversations about race and keeps us from discussing, examining and addressing our biases:



If the other half of the story is how we address our racial biases, how do we do better? A recent discussion with a friend led me to the newly released Me and White Supremacy Workbook by Layla F. Saad:

Part education, part activation, the Me And White Supremacy Workbook is a first-of-its-kind personal anti-racism tool for people holding white privilege to begin to examine and dismantle their complicity in the oppressive system of white supremacy.

This resource is available for free.

Even the way that white allies talk to minorities often demonstrates a lack of sensitivity and self-awareness. According to a new study from Yale University, white liberals' reliance on old stereotypes makes them appear less competent when interacting with African Americans.

That's not just code switching. That's intellectual downshifting. And it's racist. And guess what. I'm guilty of that, too. Here, I thought I was being relatable. Instead, I sound lame and condescending. Ouch.

Now that I know better, I vow to do better. I want to have the hard conversations and continue to peel back the layers of my own racism. When I feel the urge to be a "helpful white woman," I'll leave my ego and privilege at the door.

Cliche Book Review: Of my own book, because I wrote it

Alright. I'm ready to do this blog thing. First, I needed some time to plan. After all, it's been a while. A lot has changed. I'm not an Objectivist. I'm barely homeschooling. My youngest is in [gasp] public school.

There goes 90% of my former audience, so who's even reading this right now? How do I entertain an audience of total strangers without being cliche or self-indulgent? With a book review of a book that I wrote, obviously.

Yes, it is.

I first read 100 Things To Do In Jackson, MS, Before You Die as I wrote it. And again as I proofed it. Then countless times while making changes. Several more times while praying before sending it in as a final draft. And once more through my fingers when the final copy was sent prior to publication. Suffice it to say that there is no one more familiar with this book than I. 

I made this for you. I hope you like it.

100 Things To Do In Jackson, MS, Before You Die is a handy, concise local guide to 100 places and events primarily in Jackson, Mississippi. People often ask me, "But are there really 100 things to do here?" I tell them: No. This is a book of lies.

Just kidding.

This selection was actually narrowed down from a list of over 350 things, and that was just an arbitrary stopping point. We could have added more. Take that, cynical haters.

In the preface, I defend explain how selections were carefully edited down to help readers get over it understand the criteria: locally owned, locally relevant, affordable, inclusive, engaging and generally not lame. Yes, your favorite dive bar probably should have made the cut, but it didn't. A lot of really cool places didn't. Folks were mad.

Write your own damn book. 

And now, a review:

100 Things To Do In Jackson, MS awkward comma Before You Die is broken into five parts with 20 entries in each section: Food & Drink, Music & Entertainment, Sports & Recreation, Culture & History, and Shopping & Fashion. 

Interspersed among the entries are photos, tips and trivia. For example, if you want to sit in the original part of Walker's Drive-In, be sure to tell them when you make a reservation or you may end up sequestered on the upper level. The Mississippi Sports Hall of Fame and Museum has the largest collection of Dizzy Dean memorabilia in the world. Parts of Fondren and Belhaven, two Jackson neighborhoods, were featured prominently in The Help (take a tour). And, Ole Tavern on George Street is totally haunted. So is Fairview Inn. 

Each entry includes the address, phone number, and website along with an honest assessment. That last part is important. To keep it authentic, I wanted to have the same experience anyone walking through the doors might have.

Before visiting, I didn't contact business owners or event organizers.  Most didn't know there was a book much less that they'd be included in it until after it dropped. The whole team did a great job of keeping it quiet. I'm terrible at keeping secrets, so I'm proud of that.

100 101 Things!

So, what would a typical weekend be like in Jackson? Where should you start? These entries are like my children, and I love them all equally. Don't make me choose. Besides, there are no simple answers to those questions. It depends. What do you like to do? 

Do you drink? Me, too. We have local beer, vodka, wine and bourbon. How do you feel about art? Me, too! Fine art, emerging art or street art? Are you a theatre buff? Would you prefer a literary tour or blues experience? Which part of Mississippi's vast history do you want to connect with and how much time do you have? On a scale of basic to bougie, how foodie are you, really? Wanna see some incredible architecture? Did you know there's a place where you can fish, camp, canoe, hike and play golf, and visit two family-friendly museums smack in the middle of the city? Do you enjoy motor sports? Collecting vinyl? Collecting fashion? Collecting vinyl fashion? 

Jackson, Mississippi is a fascinating city to visit and the book is an excellent comprehensive guide, in my humble opinion, but perhaps I should create with a flowchart to help readers distill these overwhelming options into a manageable menu. 

Stop asking me this question.

Of course, you could just buy a copy. 100 Things To Do In Jackson, MS, Before You Die was published by Reedy Press in November, 2016. Almost a year after it was published, it really caught fire. Literally. And now it's more difficult to find.

There are no plans for a second edition at this time, but I already have something new in the works. In the meantime, there are still a few copies available at Lemuria Bookstore, the King Edward Hotel downtown (behind the lobby reception desk) and Barnes & Noble in Ridgeland. There are also new and used copies available online at Amazon (also available on Kindle). Once those are gone, it's gone. 

I hope you enjoy 100 Things To Do In Jackson, MS, Before You Die as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for reading my review. 5/5 stars. Would definitely recommend.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

31 Days of Blogging? Okay, fine.

I've been tagged in a 31 Days of Blogging Challenge. Make that 29 22 days, and you have a deal. It's been a while. I have a lot to say. But first, coffee.

This counts as Day 1.

Personhood supporters love babies and women (just not at the same time)

The noble advocates for life want women to know that they are only trying to help. By lobbying to remove all exceptions for abortion, including life of the mother, they are sending us a message of love: they don’t want to control us; they just want to stop us from making a mistake.

Every year, many women are raped, get pregnant, have abortions and regret it. Well, maybe “many” is an overstatement. Rep. Stephen King doesn't know any women who publicly advertise their rape-conceived pregnancies, which means pregnancy from incest or statutory rape is statistically rare. Or maybe Todd Akin is right, and it doesn't happen at all since it isn't biologically possible for a victim of a legitimate rape to conceive.

I’m sorry, I misspoke. What I meant by “legitimate rape” is that women lie about being raped all the time, not that rape has to be physically traumatic to activate the latant uterine superpowers that prevent women from becoming pregnant, which is what I initially implied by explaining exactly what I meant and then changing my story without apologizing for the original remark. Whew, that was close. For a moment there, I was afraid I had said something offensive.

In defense of Akin’s misguided statements, Personhood supporters have misapplied a study on infertility as evidence that the female body can indeed prevent pregnancy. Even if it was out of context, it still doesn't change the misrepresented facts. If that isn't enough proof, consider the often quoted words of Theodor Geisel: “A person’s a person, no matter how small.” And he should know. He was a famous doctor.

There are, indeed, women who have ended their rape-conceived pregnancies and regretted it. Ironically, many of them believe that other victims should not have the same choices they were afforded during their times of crisis. Since they couldn't be trusted to make the right decisions for their lives and their bodies under duress, they rationalize, clearly we can’t either.

Other victims of rape elect to carry their pregnancies to term and either put their babies up for adoption or raise them. Many of these women feel so strongly about their choices that they wish to eliminate all other options for future rape victims. As former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee recently said, lots of wonderful people are the result of rape. His thoughts on the consensually conceived pregnancies resulting in the births of serial killers, brutal dictators and the members of Nickelback, however, remain unclear.

Many religious fundamentalists believe that life begins at conception. For them, it is not an opinion but a faith-based fact that they believe with enough fervor to fuel another crusade. If you disagree, forget hell; you could go to jail. Personhood advocates loudly declare that abortion is murder and should be criminalized as such, regardless of the circumstances. They’d also like to remind you of God’s love and compassion and capacity for forgiveness. Just don’t expect any of that from those who believe they are following the teachings of the Bible when it comes to protecting the unborn.

Granted, Biblical definitions can be outdated. Back then, women were property and rapists were bound by law to marry their victims. No one is saying things should be like that again, at least not out loud. Now, we have rights. Personhood advocates believe that a newly formed zygote should have the same rights as a fully developed human being (until it becomes a girl who becomes a victim impregnated by a rapist, at which point she had more rights before she was born).

These days, the victim certainly doesn't have to marry her attacker, but in Mississippi and several other states, he is entitled to visitation and shared custody of the resulting child. This relationship ties the victim to her attacker for years to come. Personhood advocates want to compel women to give birth against our will based on their belief that our bodies essentially become the property of single-cell souls at the moment of fertilization. Now, that’s progress.

According to pro-lifers, we shouldn't view this as a women’s rights issue. That would be petty and selfish. Some even refer to abortion as a form of self-worship. Instead, perhaps we should think of ourselves as servers that are offline and pregnancy as a biological 404 Error: Autonomy temporarily not available. Rights not found. Try reloading in nine months.

Please don’t misunderstand. Personhood supporters value all life equally. They love women and believe women have rights just like the developing fetus. The fact that they believe those rights should temporarily disappear when women become pregnant doesn't mean they don’t love us at all; it just means they love the unborn more.
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This column originally appeared on The Clarion-Ledger website on September 4, 2012. 

Copyright 2012. Natalie Winningham/Business Ink. All rights reserved. 

Small town women, big political change

There are no popularity contests in small towns. Everyone already knows you, your parents, where you live, and what church you attend—unless you don’t go at all, in which case you are probably on the prayer list.

Growing up, I sang in the Sunday choir with several classmates and regularly saw my teachers in the grocery store. My high school algebra instructor was a stern, no-nonsense woman who also happened to be my youth Bible study leader. Incidentally, it is nearly impossible for a Baptist preacher’s daughter in rural Mississippi to skip school. At least that’s what I hear.

Familiarity on this level within a community is not uncommon and can create an almost impenetrable wall of solidarity. Just ask anyone who’s not from there. Cultural and social norms rooted in a largely conservative ideology have been followed for decades without serious challenge. However, recent legislation authored by some of Mississippi’s most conservative lawmakers has been met with resistance within these same communities not from liberals infiltrating the fold but from God-fearing, church-going southern women.

This shift in perspective was evident last November in Mississippi’s startling rejection of the Personhood amendment, which sought to define life as beginning at fertilization. Originally publicized by supporters as a pro-life amendment that would effectively end abortion in the state, advocates predicted it would pass by a wide margin. But when the far-reaching consequences of the initiative were revealed, there was a groundswell of opposition from conservative women throughout the state.

As recently as this month, lawyers from both sides faced off in federal court over a new law that would close the only abortion clinic in this state. Conservative women who are personally pro-life and politically pro-choice understand that eliminating access to safe abortion will not eliminate abortion in an imperfect world but will instead cause desperate women to seek unsafe, potentially life-threatening solutions. For many, this harsh stance is incompatible with their pro-life values.

Atlee Breland is a Christian wife and mother from Jackson who founded ParentsAgainst Personhood, a political action committee aimed at defeating the amendment. In the weeks leading up to the November election, members of the PAC’s Facebook page often prefaced their concerns about the initiative by identifying themselves as conservative, pro-life, Christian women. It was important to these women for others to know that their personal values remained unchanged; they were drawing a line, not switching sides.

During the last legislative session, Personhood resurfaced as a bill along with legislation that would have required women seeking first trimester abortions to hear the fetus’ heart beat prior to treatment. This medically unnecessary procedure often requires the use of a painfully intrusive trans-vaginal ultrasound probe.

Many conservative women regarded this as yet another attempt to enforce morality by overreaching politicians. When both bills failed, a “heartbeat amendment” was added to an otherwise widely-favored bill in a last-minute attempt to bring it to a vote. Once again, women mobilized and the bill died in committee.

At the same time, controversy over access to contraceptives and Personhood initiatives in other states were making national headlines. Many became alarmed when religious institutions across the country not only sanctioned this expansion of the government’s role as morality police, they wanted to openly participate in it.

For this reason, conservative southern women are pushing back against pressure from their religious leaders. They refuse to conform not because they are rebelling against the church but because many of them are trying to protect it. These women recognize that the powerful ally the conservative church seeks in the government could easily become the monster that consumes it.

House Representative Andy Gipson (R-Braxton) is the author of the Personhood and heart beat bills as well as the driving force behind the last-ditch heartbeat amendment that failed during last session. He is also a practicing attorney and interim Baptist preacher at a church in a small town not far from where I live. 

Around here, Gipson is regarded as a hero fighting to reclaim our country’s Christian heritage. In May, he posted on his personal Facebook wall that he will not check his religious views at the door of the House of Representatives, so voters and constituents can expect similar legislation in the future.

Women in conservative small towns will be watching. Women who understand what is at stake. Women who are influential, resourceful and tenacious. Women who embody the phrase, “If mama’s not happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

Women like me.
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This column originally appeared on The Clarion-Ledger website on July 23, 2012. 

Copyright 2012. Natalie Winningham/Business Ink. All rights reserved. 

Punxsutawney Bill: HB 464 (updated)

It's that special time of year again, when two men dressed in outdated suits wake me from my bloggy slumber and force me into the bright sunshine. Unfortunately, I've seen the long shadow of Judge Joe Dale Walker on pending legislation, which means we'll have several more weeks of homeschool activism in Mississippi. Congratulations.

HB 464 is essentially a bill that spells out the qualifications and duties of school attendance officers. Section 1(4)(j) instructs school attendance officers to:

...collect and maintain information concerning each compulsory-school-age child who is being educated in a legitimate home instruction program, as defined in Section 37-13-91, which shall be provided only to the youth court judge or the chancellor of a court of competent jurisdiction for the purpose of exempting such children from the truancy laws of this state.

Sound familiar?

Representative Bob Evans authored the bill and serves House District 91 (Copiah, Covington, Jefferson Davis, Lawrence and Simpson counties). His office is in Monticello. Judge Joe Dale Walker presides over Chancery Court District 13 (Covington, Jefferson Davis, Lawrence, Simpson and Smith counties). His office is also in Monticello. I live in Simpson County, which is part of both districts. It's like the circle of life or something.

Recall that the MS Supreme Court vacated Judge Walker's court order forcing local school attendance officers to turn over information on all homeschoolers registered in District 13. This is clearly an end-around to get the names of homeschooled students, except it would affect all homeschoolers in the state of Mississippi, not just District 13. But, why go to so much trouble?

According to the bill, the purpose of collecting the information is "exempting such children from the truancy laws of this state." According to Miss. Code. Ann. 37-13-91, we are currently exempt.

(4)  An "unlawful absence" is an absence during a school day by a compulsory-school-age child, which absence is not due to a valid excuse for temporary nonattendance.  Days missed from school due to disciplinary suspension shall not be considered an "excused" absence under this section.  This subsection shall not apply to children enrolled in a nonpublic school. [emphasis added] 

What exactly is a nonpublic school?

(2)(i)  "Nonpublic school" means an institution for the teaching of children, consisting of a physical plant, whether owned or leased, including a home, instructional staff members and students, and which is in session each school year.  This definition shall include, but not be limited to, private, church, parochial and home instruction programs. [emphasis added]

HB 464 seeks to:

"...amend Section 37-13-91, Mississippi Code of 1972, to require the parent, guardian or custodian of a compulsory-school-age child to enroll the child in a public school or legitimate nonpublic school at the point the child is no longer receiving instruction in a legitimate home instruction program..."In other words, if HB 464 passes, homeschooling families would be exempt from truancy laws as long as we are engaged in what the youth court deems a legitimate home instruction program. Otherwise, the youth court judge can order a child to attend a public or private school for violating truancy laws.

Judge Walker has found a friend in Rep. Evans. This bill would create a legal basis for targeting and prosecuting "fake homeschoolers" by placing us all under the scrutiny of school attendance officers and youth court judges. There is no surefire way of determining who in the homeschooling community is doing what and how without creating standards, employing intrusive tactics and applying them universally to the whole. Is it worth putting us all through the wringer to catch a delinquent few? The answer is NO.

If you'd like to call Rep. Evans and ask him why he thinks homeschoolers are so suspicious that our information should be kept on file in youth court, his number at the capitol is 601-359-9393. He can be reached at his Monticello office at 601-587-0615. His email address is bevans@house.ms.gov.

Since Evans has no qualms over-reaching into our homes, you can "over-reach" him at home by calling 601-587-9313. I'm sure his family won't mind the intrusion.

UPDATE: HB 464 died in committee on March 6, 2012. Great news for homeschoolers in Mississippi!